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Submitted on
July 25
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We all hid when the faeries dueled.

You and I were in the closet, wishing to each other half-secretly among the motes that the duels could be rare as dragons, at least.  Instead they were only rare as quarter-moons.

Ground liquifies, sometimes, during a duel.  The stars brighten and fall faster, leaving holes in the ground and setting forests alight.  The sun hides in a bird’s nest, they say.

We did not see when the damage was done.  We were accustomed to avoiding to know even the names of those who fought.  Our eyes were far from windows.

But duels always ended the day after they began, and we stepped out as if we were free.

Your eyes caught the light first, and when I followed them my air caught in my throat.  Like going underwater without the protection of a mermaid.

That day our world was on fire.  The glass of the town hall had melted to colorful puddles on the ground.  Some houses were gone - some people too, I realized.  Survival was as common and unpredictable as trees blooming a week early.

I still do not know the name of the faeries who dueled that day, although both were buried sometime later.  But I do know the shape of the town we lost and left behind, and sometimes today I see it in my dreams.
Flash Fiction Month 2014, day 25.  Second day in a row I destroyed a town, WHOOPS.  Clumsy me...
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Daily Deviation

Given 2014-08-11
Faeriefire by Atheshya is, in the suggester's words, "short and (not) sweet high fantasy that reads like a real-world tragedy." ( Suggested by VFreie and Featured by neurotype )
:icongoldennocturna:
GoldenNocturna Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2014  Student Writer
A very imaginative piece. It raises some pretty interesting questions, as well: why do these people allow these fairies to destroy their homes? Where do the fairies come from and why? The only constructive criticism I could provide is that some of the sentences/phrases sound awkward, so you may want to read through them again for flow. Other than that, this was a great read. Keep writing!
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:iconatheshya:
Atheshya Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Which sentences/phrases, if I may ask?
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:icongoldennocturna:
GoldenNocturna Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Student Writer
Sorry for the late response. Some of the sentences/phrases that seemed off to me included:

"The sun hides in a bird’s nest, they say."
"
Like going underwater without the protection of a mermaid."
"
Survival was as common and unpredictable as trees blooming a week early."

Also, I noticed a tense shift in the middle of the piece, starting with "
Ground liquifies, sometimes, during a duel."

Other than that, this was a really good piece. Keep writing!
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:iconatheshya:
Atheshya Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
The liquify line and the paragraph around it was supposed to be referring to habitual things, which are true of fairie duels even now as of the writing.  Still worth considering an edit if it seemed off to someone, though.
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:icongoldennocturna:
GoldenNocturna Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2014  Student Writer
Ah, I see...
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:iconsaevuswinds:
saevuswinds Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014  Student Writer
Congratulations on the DD~! 
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:icongdeyke:
GDeyke Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014   Writer
Absolutely love the idea and the descriptive language in this. I can't believe I seem to have missed so many of your FFM stories!
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:iconatheshya:
Atheshya Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks!
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014   Writer
A late congrats on the DD. This is a great piece of flash fiction, one I got completely immersed in. Thank you. :+fav:
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:iconatheshya:
Atheshya Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
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